This dog is a thief.

It is Sunday morning and I am too lazy to get out of bed and do work like I said I would last night with glowing drunk ambition.
Instead, I went on Criag's list to read misconnections and look at the pictures of pets that people are trying to get rid of (if you are in the NYC area there is a one-eyed gray kitten that is really cute in a sad one-eyed kitten sort of way). I only wanted to look at cats, kittens, rodents, and reptiles. However, there was an ad for a shih tzu. I thought to myself, "a lot of people talk about these things... what the bonkers do they look like?" I opened up the image... "oh, gross, why do people want these things?" AND THEN I noticed its barrette. So familiar... Holy crap weasels! That barrette is MINE! That motherflippin' shih tzu stole my red cat playing a banjo barrette! I had lost it months ago... So, I need someone to adopt that dog so I can get my barrette back. It is very important and has immense sentimental value because my good friends had stolen it for me when they did not want to stand in the long line at Target the day before Halloween. Please, whether you adopt this thief or run into it on the street one day... tell it to give me back my motherflippin' barrette or just yank it off and mail it back to me... My cat playing a banjo barrette does not belong on a shih tzu.