My Charmed New England Life: Too Much Nature. Gross.

New England, the birthplace of witches, lobster, Fall-time trees, and deadly animals. I kind of get to live here! yay... Moving beyond the ghosts and rats that live in my walls, there is way too much nature out here and someone should do something about this problem. Nature is freakin' everywhere and I can't seem to get rid of it--there is only so much of it I can eat. While the rats and ghosts may just be ontologically real, the family of centipedes living in my bathroom sink is materially for-realz-for-realz. Centipedes live in my sink tubes and at night they crawl out, staying in the basin until morning. They scare the crap out of me, so before I go to bed I close the bathroom drain to avoid this:

My campus seems to be filled with the nature as well. The other day a gaggle of geese (gaggle, right? Bevy? Eh) landed in front of the athletics center. I wanted to chase them, but I had to save all of my running energy for the elliptical. Prior to the geese encounter, I saw a HAWK! SQUAWK! It was raining out or something and from the graduate lounge window I saw a beautiful hawk the size of a three-year-old human. It was just chillin' on the lawn like, "eh... no big deal. I'm just a hawk chillin'". I tried to exhort my peers to share the enthusiasm, to absorb the glory of this magnificent bird--no, just kidding, I tried to get them to come outside to watch me chase it. Only one friend followed me out. The hawk was even more enchanting without a glass window dividing us. I felt such a connection to it. It was my spirit animal, my Hedwig.

I debated whether or not to chase it. After all, it was a pretty flippin' large bird with talons and a beak. Before I was able to make up my mind

it kind of flew at me and I grabbed a girl with crutches to use her body as a shield (I learned how to do this in Civil War reenactment games during 7th grade). Yup, I am a terrible person. Thankfully, the hawk decided to land in a tree instead of my face. All was well again in my charmed New England life.
Next time I decide to chase a large bird I am going to chase a turkey because... YES there are wild turkeys that roam free around New England! They are bigger than hawks.

I asked one of my new school friends if it would be possible to have her drive me around town so I can hunt turkeys from the passenger seat. She said no. Well, until I can find a gamely person with a car, I am going to enjoy the taste of New England nature the legal way.

Thanksgiving 2010

Yesterday was a great Thanksgiving. We had plenty of friends over and all the food collaborations were delicious. However, before the festivities Josh got stuck in our elevator while trying to fetch the laundry. Our building supervisor had to bring in elevator specialists to pry open the door and free Josh. It was a hectic time. I kept Josh company by yelling at our broken elevator door like a crazy person. Later, I got bored, realized there was nothing I could do, and went back into the apartment to talk to my sister on the phone. She is doing well.

In the days leading up to our Thanksgiving dinner I obsessed over scented candles. I have been wanting a scented candle for about two months now. A lot of thought went into what kind of scent I could live with. There was also a fear that the cats might play with candle fire and then catch on fire and then die.

I had the idea that our apartment had to smell like holiday and not crazy mystery before the guests arrived. The fear of cat fire was still in the back of my mind, but with some reasoning my concerns were at ease. <Cats should know not to play with fire... right? But then again, it is not like they invented fire, so would they know? How natural is fire in nature? Well, pretty natural, I guess, considering my house almost burned down in the fire of 2002. 2003? No, 2002. 2002 because that fire happened the same year that the kid whose house burned down started wearing a t-shirt that read: 'Jesus is my Homie', so yes, 2002. Should our cats deserve to live if they do not know how to interact with fire? Whatever, this house needs to smell like holiday magic.> The night before Thanksgiving I made Josh and Kyle come with me to Duane Reade (I hate you, Duane Reade). It was a last minute desperate attempt to make the apartment smell magical. I had been thinking too much about candles and not actually shopping for candles--inevitably leading to a pathetic attempt at 10pm to improvise magic from the crap bomb that is Duane Reade. I bought something that purported a permeating apple cinnamon scent. Thanksgiving morning I lit the candle. Four hours later I got sick from the smell and had to open the window, but I left the candle burning because I wanted our guests to feel like it is holiday... With the window open the smell dissipated. Candles suck. Duane Reade sucks. Luckily, no cat fires.